Monday, September 10, 2018

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From Elephants to Sheep!

Sean Mallory eyes up Ian Paisley Jnr in his latest column.

As the sun rose in Sri Lanka and spread its life-giving rays across the fields and hills, striking the bleached bones of the men, women and children butchered and slaughtered on the orders of the Sri Lankan government and perpetrated on its behalf by its security forces, armed by Britain and other western States, it began to set on Ian Paisley Jr.

Paisley's sin being, having failed to declare to the British House of Commons two hugely expensive holidays to Sri Lanka, approximately £100,000 in cost but vigorously stated to be half that cost by Junior himself who having initially denied it the first place!

After a shallow and posturing pretence of remorse, Paisley sat down in the British House of Commons and simulated wiping his brow free of ersatz sweat, whilst all the while apologising for bringing the House in to disrepute.

Paisley's pageantry of insincerity failed to persuade or convince the House in his favour and It duly banned him from holding his seat in the Commons until November.

To the Plebeians, an offence better understood under criminal law as withholding information and committing a potential fraud.

Abandoned by his party colleagues at home and at Westminster, with the exception being that old lickspittle Sammy Wilson wishing to keep a foot in every camp, Paisley found abundant succour in his constituents who rallied to his side.

When asked about his behaviour they hastily dismissed it, and throwing his fraudulent behaviour to the side, his Westminster apology was enough to secure their backing for any probable upcoming election.

A few when asked if he had been discovered withholding information on a murder and obstructing an investigation into a murder would they still give him their full backing retorted that that was a completely different scenario and that they would have to think about that.

When pointed out that that was exactly what he was doing when he accepted his free elephant rides and in return agreeing to lobby the British government to obstruct a UN resolution calling for an investigation in to potential crimes against humanity and potential war crimes, i.e. State murder, committed by his holiday hosts the Sri Lankan government and their security forces, those same Paisley supporters just didn’t seem to quite get the point!

But having used the incentive of the free elephant rides to lobby the British government he failed to extend his apologies for his immoral and unethical lobbying.

Obviously his Christian fundamentalist beliefs incorporating the 5th Commandment ‘Though shall not kill’, includes the little known and often forgotten about ‘appendage of exception’ which translates and interprets as:

Where the need arises, an exception can be made to anyone carrying out such a damnatory act if they can justify killing in the eyes of man or in your own mind.

And in this particular case in the eyes of elephants!

Across the Bay of Bengal and continuing along the lines of foreign assisted Asian massacres, Theresa May and her government taking a moment away from Brexit have condemned the Myanmar authorities for the gaoling of two journalists to 7 years each.

Wa Lone and Kyaw Soe Oo were convicted of being illegally in possession of official documents pertaining to the States involvement in the mass killings by security forces of Rohingya villagers.

And yet she and her government fully support the investigation and arrest of two journalists, Trevor Birney and Barry McCaffrey, as part of an investigation into the suspected theft of confidential documents from the Police Ombudsman for Northern Ireland or being illegally in possession of official documents pertaining to State involvement in a mass killing, i.e., Loughinisland.

And so as Junior contemplates life outside of parliament we can all rest assured that there are no longer any elephants in the House!

Except of course the four DUP politicians being investigated by the Electoral Commission over a trip to Israel which under new rules and regulations should have been reported. The DUP have explained it as an "administrative oversight" which they are dealing with.

And RHI, and NAMA....and.......

But let us to turn our thoughts to the unsuspecting hiker in the Mourne Mountains who was badly hurt when he unexpectedly found himself cushioning the fall of a sheep that had lost its footing on the crags overhead as he passed unawares beneath. Approximately seventeen mountain rescue staff were required to remove the hiker from the mountain and carry him off to hospital.

Reportedly the sheep left the scene unaided and uninjured with not a word of thanks!


Sean Mallory is a Tyrone republican and TPQ columnist 



2 comments :

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Mark Burton said...

Imagine being investigated for theft of government documents. The very cheek of it. Then again makes a nice change to know it's still a crime after the IRA robbed stormont