Saturday, November 11, 2017

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Lost Souls, Lost Causes & Los Insurgentes

Sean Mallory casts his sceptical eye over events at home and in foreign countries such as England, the US and Spain. 

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."... - apparently Mark Twain in reference to Benjamin Disraeli ... or is that a lie too? !!!

In response to two DUP politicians forced to flee a meeting in Derry concerning £12.5m worth of cuts to health services in the North West, Arlene Foster hit out at the angry crowd's behaviour as
“fascist society rather than a democratic society”....which when we look back at how the democratic and anti-fascist DUP dealt with David Trimble, Giant's Causeway, fracking, Red Sky, NAMA, funding for the Brexit referendum, RHI and the Tory bung, to name but a paltry few, we can wholly appreciate what she means!

Reporting on America's worst mass murder, the Las Vegas shooting, the Belfast Telegraph, never short of quality journalism, managed to unearth two citizens from Norn Iron, from under a restaurant table, who willingly shared their experience of the shooting or as it turned out, lack off.

Oddly, a British state whose citizens uncannily seem to turn up in most natural and unnatural global catastrophes these days.

They related how they escaped unharmed but not unscathed, and described how lucky they were even though they weren’t at the Country and Western festival at all but in a restaurant much further down the Strip during the attack...phew...a story akin to the passenger who could have frozen to death or drowned when they missed the Titanic sailing and therefore wasn’t on the ship when it went down – but just like the couple in Vegas they thought that they would never see their kids again.....until they went home that is!

Gary Middleton, DUP MLA for Foyle and a very vocal supporter of Foster, made a slam dunk of a lie when he claimed that 25% of his clients calling in to his office were Nationalists from the Bogside and the Creggan. A person's religious background has no bearing on Gary's perception of them. Which kind of explains his membership of the DUP and not a party like the Greens.

Beating him to the gong for the biggest lie 2017, an unnamed Linfield fan who apparently criticising the singing of sectarian and racist songs by the Rangers fans in amongst them at the Challenge Cup in Scotland, finished off his criticism with these words about his fellow Linfield supporters, “Many of them wouldn’t even know the words of the songs......”

Songs such as those mocking Bobby Sands, Rule Britannia and I was born under a Union Jack and of course The Billy Boys....

Robin Newton, speaker of the empty Stormont Assembly, and a role that exemplified his non-partisanship when he refused to allow questions on the DUP's role and allocation of funding for UDA controlled community projects, was revealed as an advisor on one of these UDA run committees. Newton, still receiving his salary amounting to £87,000 + per annum, circumvented the concern in age old DUP tradition by simply denying any disreputable and unethical behaviour or wrong doing. Especially when he abused his position as Speaker to deny questions being raised in the Assembly on the matter as it directly involved himself in the murky affair. Arlene's hubris display for Robin maintaining the party line of ‘no surrender’, was a joy to behold.

James Brokenshire, the hapless Secretary of State for Norn Iron and DUP lackey, and never one to backtrack, continued to draw lines in the sand on the parties involved in the Stormont talks, even after the talks had finished.

Brokenshire, something of an expert in deadlines, spoke of his conviction (nothing criminal mind you, just a profound belief like a child's belief in Santa Claus) that a deal could be reached by the end of the month but warned the parties involved that if not, then he would be compelled by his ministerial position to draw another line in the sand and he wasn’t having any of it. Shortly after, the security guard told him they had all gone home and could he leave as he wanted to lock up .... the match was on.


Elsewhere

Theresa May, back from her calamitous Tory conference, and her band of Brexiteers continue to turn on each other with contradicting statements on the current state of Brexit negotiations. But generally all in all agree that it is going swimmingly irrespective of the whispers. Theresa, fighting for her political life since the disastrous general election, has quietly implored the EU negotiators lead by Barnier and Juncker to throw her a life line. It has been alleged that she was overheard saying: for fucks sake you froggie bastards better cut me some slack here or you’ll have that fuck’n rubber head Johnson to deal with.
Juncker’s response was to point out that he wasn’t French. Barnier enquired as to what ‘froggies’ were.

Bookies have since drastically cut her odds on being deposed as party leader.

President Trump continued to explain the world through the eyes of Stevie Wonder by denying his own words to the widow of Sgt. La David Johnson killed in Niger. An attack that still remains unexplained as to what American soldiers were doing there.

President Trump, never one to allow reality to tint his vision, having reportedly expressed his condolences in a rather frank and candid manner, and flawed in compassion and sincerity, denied such but only to have his denial flung back in his face by White House staff who confirmed the reported conversation. In true Trump fashion he still denied it.

After weeks of speculation and much fascist antagonism, Carles ‘the heckle’ Puigdemont, once president of the Spanish province of Catalan and pro-independence agitator and his los insurgentes or Insurrectos, has become the most wanted man in Spanish history after declaring Catalan's independence from Spain and after a democratically run referendum too.

An announcement of independence like that of Masoud Barzani and the Kurdish declaration of independence, was unilaterally denounced worldwide by democratically elected States.

A declaration having initially been joyously and rapturously received in the provincial parliament, quickly turned to a satire as Madrid issued arrest warrants for rebellion against Carles and his amigos. Hastily packed Gucci luggage cases thrown in to the back of a Mark IV Cortina and a break for the geographical border saw Carlos and the lads flee the province to Brazil...eh,no......Porto Rico....no, not there....the Domimican Republic....no....but to the heart of the EU, Brussels. A city renowned for harbouring rebels and revolutionaries.

At a carefully convened press conference Carles has stated that he cannot return to Spain as he fears for his life especially since he faces 30 years behind bars. Although, he did state that he is willing to recognise Madrid's call for elections in December as long as they are fair....good luck with that one Carles!



Sean Mallory is a Tyrone republican and TPQ columnist

1 comments :

DaithiD said...

If corporations do really run public policy, then Brexit "negotiations" must be nothing more than performance art.Why then do we pay heed to any briefings of the media about their current state (either positive or negative)?