Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Woolfe?... Mike Hookem Isn’t!

Sean Mallory sums up some news making events as his caustic eye sees them. Sean Mallory is a Tyron republican.

Over at the Conservative Party Conference in England, the DUP held a first alcohol champagne reception lunch that originally wasn’t meant to be advertised as a champagne reception and was only described as such due to an error in translation ... maybe they should reconsider giving the task of publicising their next event to their Gibberish Society members. 

David Ford, leader of the Unionist Alliance Party, announced his intention to stand down as leader of the party... mmmm, that's it, not much else to say about that.

British Secretary of State for NI, James Brokenshire gave his first in-depth interview that turned out to be as desultory and mechanical as his predecessors. But he did emphasise that time was running out for justice for all Troubles victims but he would do his best to see that they should achieve justice. Just how far his justice will stretch or who he perceives to be a victim was determined by his party leader and current British prime minister, May, when at the Tory conference this week he, sorry ‘she’, declared that Britain’s armed forces had no case to answer for any actions perceived to be a crime against humanity. Now that would seem to cure one aspect of the legacy issue!

She went on to announce Brexit for March 2017, to which Jeffery Donaldson is delighted and remarked “about time too” since the DUP can hold the Tories to ransom as they require their votes to pass their EU Repeal Laws.

Arlene Foster, undistracted by such a trivial announcement and fully focusing on the best deal for ‘norn iron’ concentrated her energy on attacking Mike Nesbitt for not having a clue about leadership and how to lead a unionist party. An innate characteristic that Arlene couldn’t be accused off!

Across the water, Steven Woolfe UK party leader favourite, collapsed in the European Parliament building in Strasburg France shortly after an altercation with a colleague believed to be Mike Hookem.

Hookem vehemently denied striking Woolfe and any accountability of the latter's collapse. In his defence he described their altercation as more handbags at dawn rather than the full blown punch up as expressed by the media. UKIP have launched an inquiry.

Farage having initially described it as behaviour best resembling that of a Third World parliament (it's ‘Developing’ countries Nigel, Third World is so yesterday, for goodness sake!) responded to the call of the party and has rallied the troops and taken temporary control ... once more unto the breech, dear friends!

Former International Development Secretary Andrew Mitchell has called for a Commons debate on Aleppo. He describes Russia's support of what appears to be Assad’s indiscriminate bombing campaign as similar to the Nazi's bombing of Guernica in Spain in 1937. Mitchell's selective denunciation stays clear of mentioning Britain's bombing of Dresden and Hamburg or Britain’s recent collaboration in Yemen where with British arms, the Saudis recently butchered hundreds of civilians in a deliberate bombing attack on a funeral in in Sana’a, Yemen’s capital city. 

I wonder if Matthew Rycroft will walk out of his next UN meeting with the Saudis when they try to explain and excuse their crime against humanity!

In sport, two well-known faces of their respective sports both voiced their opinions on loosing. 

Sam Allardyce, sacked as England manager after 67 days, blamed entrapment for his demise. Big Sam, on £3 million a year contract and desperate for the position for many years, was humiliatingly caught in a sting by journalists which highlighted the corruption and greed within the beautiful game.

Unfortunately for Sam, it was too late to, not to recant his implied circumventing of player ownership rules, but to cancel his bulk posting of postcards to the England players stating his affection fro the team and that he looked forward to seeing them at training and good luck against the upcoming game against Malta .... bless’m!

Norn Iron's very own Darren Clarke went one better than Big Sam. Clarke, captain of the European Ryder Cup team 2016 and having emphatically lost at Hazeltine National Golf Club Chaska, Minn., USA, in an attempt at being gracious in defeat and as a show of either gratitude to his players or to dispel immediately any doubt over his captainship decisions, made the most bizarre and ridiculous statement of any looser by declaring, “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Which is amazing coming from a team captain/manager who not only lost but had his arse kicked 17 – 11. let's hope Darren isn't re-instated as Captain for the bout in two years!

And finally:

Founding father of Israel Shimon Peres has died age 93. US President Barack Obama led the tributes comparing him to Mandela, saying: "A light has gone out, but the hope he gave us will burn forever".

A eulogy that left many people around the world involuntarily vomiting from a sudden bout of extreme nausea!

Many media outlets having described Peres as an Israeli statesman and a man of peace, exemplified this by reminding everyone of how he was a holder of the Nobel Peace Prize. So is one Henry Kissinger and David Trimble which somewhat devalues it, doesn’t it! 

A more fitting criticism rather than accolade would be Peres’ conscious and knowledgeable decision to bomb the refugee camp in Qana 1996 and then to indifferently deny culpability for the murder of hundreds of woman and children by declaring initial ignorance of their presence. 

As for his Nobel Prize, since his award, the Nobel committee members have signed a letter regretting their awarding him the Nobel Peace Prize.

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