Sunday, October 25, 2015

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Bad Breath

There seemed to be something of a moment of reckoning for Gerry Adams on RTE earlier this week. "Seemed" is the appropriate description because that’s all it was, seeming. More symbolic than anything else, apart from amusing, it came while he was being quizzed by presenter Bryan Dobson on foot of the Three Monkey’s report on the current status of the Provisional IRA.

This is a most troublesome body that has created such an anomaly for Mr Adams:  despite apparently never having been a member of it he once served as its chief of staff.

Looking anything but relaxed, and probably fed up with pesky people arriving with a gratuitous sense of entitlement that his dissembling be brought to an end, the Sinn Fein caudillo insisted that the IRA organisation had no members because it no longer exists. Bobby Storey, who is to Adams what Porter Rockwell was to the Mormon’s Joseph Smith, had really meant that black taxis hadn’t gone away when he and fellow Greenshirts took to a bit of thunderous goose-stepping on the Falls Road during the four day British police detention of Adams as a murder suspect in the spring of last year.

Adams, when quizzed on radio about this outburst from Herr Robert by RTE's Aine Lawlor prior to his skirmish with Bryan Dobson, turned on the veteran radio presenter “You’re not going to say bad thing about him?”  How very dare you.

His protestations that the IRA neither exists or ever had himself in its ranks is the same sort of bull he has been spewing for yonks now. At one point during the exchange he exhaled an exasperated sigh that almost sounded like a death rattle: the deception, denial, mendacity which had been pumped into every false utterance looked as if it had suddenly imploded and the air whooshed out of the presidential tyres.

The actuality was neither so sanguine or dramatic. More a case that the accumulated gases emitted from the steaming bull he has incessantly churned out erupted, causing wind to break from his mouth - which he will probably spin as an unfortunate bout of bad breath - transmitted to him by somebody else, no doubt, in the corridor on the way in to the studio, and who had also stolen his toothbrush to boot. George Carlin was always waiting in the wings ready to pounce on a swindler such as this.

I thought Adams might be tempted to reach into his deep pockets for a slab of South Armagh manufactured chewing gum and pop it into the slurry tank that sits behind his teeth: just to freshen up his tongue so that he might better use it to spin that the IRA is not involved in criminality. Merely because Provo politics are now Stick politics it does not follow that the Provos are running counterfeit money scams and exemption card rackets. It would never cross their peacefully processed minds to engage in what Martin McGuinness labelled "criminal robbery".