Friday, May 1, 2015

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Letter From A Liar In Louth

Dixie Elliot satirising the Adams brand. Thomas Dixie Elliot is a writer and artist. As a former republican prisoner he took part in the prolonged blanket protest in the H-Blocks.

Here's the actual text of a letter which Gerry Adams TD has been trying to get The Irish Times to carry for the last two weeks and not the one carried in An Phoblacht which was rewritten by Jonathan Powell.

A Chara,


Is mise Gerry Adams. I am Gerry Adams.

Táim TD do Lú. I am the TD for Louth.

 Tá do pháipéar aunty-Sinn Féin. Your paper is anti-Sinn Fein.

Don't you know it was I who founded Sinn Fein again? That was after De Valera left it to rust in a shed? I restored it with my own hands and when I am eventually Taoiseach I will phone Martin in Stormont and say to him, Hello Máirtín, is Taoiseach mé anois. Hello Martin I am Taoiseach now.

You'll not be pleased then will you? Oh no you won't.

Because I'll open one of those old Arms dumps where I keep my money and I'll buy your paper. Then you'll be Squintered! After that I'll buy Portlaoise Prison and intern all the anti-Sinn Fein journalists and people opposed to our peace process and any politician who isn't a member of Sinn Fein.

In fact Bobby Storey has a book with all the names in it. I told him to put your name in it, between Moloney and McIntyre.

People say we have no strategy for a United Ireland. Well I'll tell you this much. I have hundreds of Arms dumps scattered across the country full of money, a lot of it in Dollars mind you. However we're going to buy up land North and South and when the time comes.....

I'LL OWN ALL OF IRELAND INCLUDING THE WATER.


Then we'll see why I've been eating so many dinners in America.


Is mise,


Gerry Adams TD for Louth and West Belfast.

2 comments :

AM said...

Dixie Elliot - the bane of the lemon suckers who would be taken to casualty if they cracked a smile.

Great wit

menace said...

Dixie, you're, again, being totally unfair to duly elected President for life, Gerry the great (heap of crap).