Do you find yourself thinking bad thoughts about the Irish News? Are you tempted to write those bad thoughts down? Given the Irish News' habit of suing its uppity readers, you should not do so unprepared! You need the DIY Irish News Critic Kit!
Anyone who criticises or questions the Irish News and their reporters knows it's only a matter of time before a solicitor's letter from Johnsons arrives at the door. Now YOU can pre-empt that action by filling out your OWN letter at the same time you write your bad thoughts with this standard template!
Armed with your own pre-prepared threatening letter already formatted and ready to go, you can let the Irish News know you've already got a letter from Johnsons for thinking bad thoughts about them. Whether you send it to yourself or the Irish News sends it to you, the result is the same!
Thinking bad thoughts and ready to write them down? ACT NOW!
*INSERT DATE HERE*
PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL – NOT FOR PUBLICATION
*INSERT NAME & ADDRESS HERE*
Dear Sir/Madam [delete as necessary],
RE: OUR CLIENT – ALLISON MORRIS
We have been instructed by Allison Morris, a leading and highly respected senior staff journalist with the Irish News in respect of false, defamatory, and harassing material which you have published on a website entitled “*insert website name here*” which can be located at the following link (“the website”):
*INSERT WEBSITE ADDRESS HERE*
*INSERT ALLEGATIONS HERE* (2 paragraph limit recommended) - ensure use of following phrases or similar as a minimum: "highly defamatory" "motivated by malice" "falsely state that our client behaved in an unprofessional and dishonest manner" "reckless allegations could endanger her personal security."
As the author and publisher of these allegations you are liable, along with the Internet Service Provider, for the resulting damage to our client’s reputation. Now that you are on notice of the defamatory and abusive material you are publishing, we require you to:
1. Immediately and permanently delete the defamatory and abusive content from your server, and effect the removal of any reference to our client on the website;
2. Immediately provide your undertaking in writing not to allow the same or similar allegations contained on the website to be cached or otherwise stored in any way.
*CONSIDER ADDITIONAL PARA HERE* (A mention of Editor Noel Doran in this section to give added gravitas would not go amiss)
In these circumstances, pending confirmation of the above, we reserve all of our client’s rights, including the right to issue legal proceedings against you in support of a claim for substantial damages.
We look forward to hearing from you as a matter of urgency.