Secularocrats Undermine Priest Process

By AM Thursday, May 17, 2012

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A priest was driving along and became upset when he ran over a frog. He stopped and was surprised to find the frog alive. Taking it home he revived the frog with a warm bath and some fly soup. Then the frog was tired so he popped it into bed. The frog needed a kiss to get off to sleep so the priest delivered a small peck on the cheek. In an instant the frog transformed into an eleven year old boy.

And that your honour is the case for the defence.

Some explanations like that of the priest and the frog just don’t ring plausible. This has probably drawn more attention to the Pomeroy Parish Porn show than it merits. Alright, few would envy Martin McVeigh caught in the predicament in which he has found himself. Who wants their personal thoughts exposed? That’s why he wanted his kept private, for fear of embarrassment or accusatory declamation from the Pharisees and exclusion by them from the temple. It’s also why privacy is valued in our society although legitimate arguments about where the boundaries should be will always feature in our discourse on the matter.

Martin McVeigh accidentally subjected some devout god fearing parishioners to the work of the devil. People having sex; how awful. Even worse they were adults. And to add terror to horror they were of the same sex, and they were doing it freely of their own consent. A crime surely of epic proportions, a transgression so abominable that there is that can be but one just punishment. Burn the queer forever and ever amen.

And for that very reason that was something that just had to be reported to the police.  Nobody would be sworn to secrecy, that apparently being a policy exclusive to children who are forced to have sex against their will with priests and then sworn to secrecy after it.  And in good conscience Sean the Silencer broke his vow of omerta and went to the civil authorities. The police for their part being more progressive than the Church – on its own hardly a claim to any radical property -  opted to see it as something other than a crime.

The thought must have struck some as to why it has not been suggested that Mr McVeigh might have been the unwitting victim of secularocrats working to the old heathen agenda and seeking to destabilise and undermine the priest process. The work of courageous and imaginative clergy in building the process would be undermined by rejectionists and traitors to the Church were the attempt successful.

Secularocrats surreptitiously sabotaged the memory stick of Mr McVeigh with a virus that showed things about sex, something nobody but fornicators (that lustful lot responsible for the creation of children) would have any interest in. The objective was to have his standing questioned within the parish of Pomeroy. Having done the deed they then devilishly whispered in Mr McVeigh’s ear ‘destroy it Martin.’ Weak sinner that he is he could not withstand temptation and decommissioned the offending memory stick. Then the secularocrats broke into the house and stole the lap top that had been used for the PowerPoint presentation before the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith had time to carry out a proper investigation within the strict and venerable codes of canon law which would expose the conspiracy for what it was.

Secularocrats are cute and wily. Had children been abused their strategy would have been very different. There would have been no need to burgle the house so soon to destroy the evidence. They could have waited until after the 2016 anniversary of the Easter Rising, it normally taking the CDF about a decade to investigate abuses against children. But with Satanic stealth they moved quickly just to cause problems for Mother Church and have people suspect, surely without any foundation,  that it might be more about protecting its power and reputation rather than children.

You may laugh and require a bit of divine intervention to help you believe it but it is an explanation at least as plausible as the one we are currently hearing.

A word of advice for Mr McVeigh. If he is indeed a viewer of gay porn, something he is quite entitled to be, he would do well to remember the old advice to ‘live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.’ It removes in one clean stroke any worry about what might be on your memory stick and pre-empts a public defence absolutely no one but the credulous are buying into.