A cautionary tale folks.....When love fades!.....Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching tv,when I heard my wifes voice from the kitchen "what would you like for dinner my love....chichen,beef or lamb?" I said "Thank you I,ll have chicken" she replied "your having soup you fat bastard,I was talking to the dog"
On hearing her eldery grandad had died Nicky went to her 98 year old grans house.when she asked how he had died,gran replied"he had a heart attack during Sunday morning sex" Nicky was aghast at her two grandparents risking their lives making love,"Oh no "said gran "we did it to the church bells ,nice and slow in on the ding out on the dong",she paused to wipe away a tear,"he,d be alive today if that f##kin ice cream van had,nt come along!!!!!
I was just about to write to Marty and ask him if he thought Albert was treating you to an extended break. We hadn't seen you about. Out of date ingredients will do you no harm. They will add to the flavour. A good dollop of curry will mask the worst of flavours!!
Nuala hon thank all that is good for your return,I was begining to think Albert and your good self had went to Glasgow with the knights of St Colombanus I had a mental picture of Albert lying prostrate before Benny the bad offering him a freshly made cake made from 3 year old eggs ,milk that moved unaided, flour that was ground before the last ice age, chocolate that was on the boat when Colombus returned,and cream made from freshly ground cockroachesI,m sure the nazi would have loved the wee treat!I,m away on another wee hike up them thar hills tomorrow hon,need you to keep Mickeyboy on the path of the righteous or a free transfer to Roberts camp!
An 85 man visits his doctor to get a sperm count,The man is given a jar and told to bring back a sample. The next day he returns to the doctor with an empty jar."What happened ?" asked the doctor "Well" said the old man "I asked the wife for help,she tried with her right hand ,then her left-nothing.then she tried with her mouth ,first with her teeth in ,then with her teeth out,still nothing,We even called in Rose the lady next door but still nothing" The doctor bursts out ,"You asked your neighbour ?" "Yip no matter what we tried we couldnt get that damm jar opened"
Mackers, I was always sceptical about those things myself. I know psychics are not everyones cup of tea, they are certainly frowned upon in religious circles. I have also came across some who are cringingly embarrassing at what they do, others have been brilliant. Maybe us two should join the 'sad fucks'line up, because we lap them up!
Former IRA volunteer and ex-prisoner, spent 18 years in Long Kesh, 4 years on the blanket and no-wash/no work protests which led to the hunger strikes of the 80s. Completed PhD at Queens upon release from prison. Left the Republican Movement at the endorsement of the Good Friday Agreement, and went on to become a journalist. Co-founder of The Blanket, an online magazine that critically analyzed the Irish peace process. Lead researcher for the Belfast Project, an oral history of the Troubles.
it is not so much the political content of these that fascinate me but the sheer good craftmanship that goes into them.
ReplyDeleteYeah Anthony the lad has a gift,superb on its own but when added to an acerbic wit makes that lad a master of his craft, wadda guy!
ReplyDeleteA cautionary tale folks.....When love fades!.....Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching tv,when I heard my wifes voice from the kitchen "what would you like for dinner my love....chichen,beef or lamb?" I said "Thank you I,ll have chicken" she replied "your having soup you fat bastard,I was talking to the dog"
ReplyDeleteThe woman who was the voice of the talking clock died today.....it was after her third stroke!!
ReplyDeleteyip Anthony error 503 is a f##k up but F5 is the way to go Thanks a cara
ReplyDeletemarty
ReplyDeleteKeep them coming, they brighten my day, sad fuck that I am.
On hearing her eldery grandad had died Nicky went to her 98 year old grans house.when she asked how he had died,gran replied"he had a heart attack during Sunday morning sex" Nicky was aghast at her two grandparents risking their lives making love,"Oh no "said gran "we did it to the church bells ,nice and slow in on the ding out on the dong",she paused to wipe away a tear,"he,d be alive today if that f##kin ice cream van had,nt come along!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCannot believe the love of your life is treating you like that Marty!
ReplyDeleteAlbert is cooking dinner as we speak, no doubt a few out of date ingredients are being added to the pot but hen no-ones perfect.
Nuala,
ReplyDeleteI was just about to write to Marty and ask him if he thought Albert was treating you to an extended break. We hadn't seen you about. Out of date ingredients will do you no harm. They will add to the flavour. A good dollop of curry will mask the worst of flavours!!
Mackers, the only break I get is when he goes to the bar, which means I am permanently on a break.
ReplyDeleteHe believes dates on food are a con!
Showing my ignorance here, who is 'Biffo' and 'Bluto'?
ReplyDeleteNuala hon thank all that is good for your return,I was begining to think Albert and your good self had went to Glasgow with the knights of St Colombanus I had a mental picture of Albert lying prostrate before Benny the bad offering him a freshly made cake made from 3 year old eggs ,milk that moved unaided, flour that was ground before the last ice age, chocolate that was on the boat when Colombus returned,and cream made from freshly ground cockroachesI,m sure the nazi would have loved the wee treat!I,m away on another wee hike up them thar hills tomorrow hon,need you to keep Mickeyboy on the path of the righteous or a free transfer to Roberts camp!
ReplyDeleteMarty, Albert ain't religious we like the 'psychic phenomena' however!
ReplyDeleteI know people will discount that as mumbo jumbo, however we believe in it big time!
Marty, he is not too good on the old cake making!
More of a microwave cook, however, he said it is the ideal gadget for destroying any impurities.
Kevin is on the Howard Hughes end of the scale in relation to dates, how have I survived?
Jesus walks into a holiday inn,tosses 3 nails on the counter and asks "Can you put me up for the night"!..
ReplyDeleteAn 85 man visits his doctor to get a sperm count,The man is given a jar and told to bring back a sample. The next day he returns to the doctor with an empty jar."What happened ?" asked the doctor "Well" said the old man "I asked the wife for help,she tried with her right hand ,then her left-nothing.then she tried with her mouth ,first with her teeth in ,then with her teeth out,still nothing,We even called in Rose the lady next door but still nothing" The doctor bursts out ,"You asked your neighbour ?" "Yip no matter what we tried we couldnt get that damm jar opened"
ReplyDeleteMarty, keep them coming, they brighten my day, sad fuck that I am.’
ReplyDeleteSame as us all Mick
Nuala,
‘we like the 'psychic phenomena' however!’
Really? I have met a few who swear by it. But you know me, ever the sceptic.
Biffo –: Big Ignorant Fucker From Offaly. That’s what the acronym stood for.
Bluto – if it is an acronym I am not so sure. Perhaps it is Big Lurch Understanding Towards Orangmen!
Mackers, I was always sceptical about those things myself.
ReplyDeleteI know psychics are not everyones cup of tea, they are certainly frowned upon in religious circles.
I have also came across some who are cringingly embarrassing at what they do, others have been brilliant.
Maybe us two should join the 'sad fucks'line up, because we lap them up!
Nuala,
ReplyDeletebetter to be a sad fuck than a sick fuck! We have had our fill of them
knock, knock.
ReplyDelete